TERROR PLOT—Islamic State terror organization (formerly known as Al Qaeda) have threatened to unleash mustard in the UK with high security officials saying ‘an attack looks imminent’ as more classified information ‘pours’ in.
Spokesperson for the government issued a warning to all Britons home and abroad to be on extra guard and to report anything and anyone they view as suspicious.
Asked if the government meant mustard gas, the spokesperson replied: “No, mustard, just mustard. It is one of the deadliest weapons going around and anyone can access it without too much problems. When consumed it can be deadly.”
It is understood ISIS may use really strong mustard in their attacks.
Home Security officials said in a statement today:
“Coleman’s looks the most likely due to its texture, volume and value for money.”
Meanwhile drunks all over the country may be resistant to a mustard attack.
ISIS leaders said in a statement from their Hollywood studios where they make their gruesome beheading videos:
“Drunks will not feel the wrath of our mustard attacks because they are so used to it with all the late night hot dogs after a full session at the pub.”