EXCLUSIVE: Labour’s Diane Abbott groped me using a hand on a spring claims Tory MP

EXCLUSIVE: Labour’s Diane Abbott groped me using a hand on a spring claims Tory MP
by Danny SoZ

An unnamed Conservative member of parliament has accused, Shadow Home Secretary, Diane Abbott, of fondling him in the debating chamber of The House of Commons using a hand on a spring during an all-night sitting of MPs in 1987.

The MP, now a senior figure in the Conservative backbencher’s 1922 Committee, told Dafty News: “We were debating the common agricultural policy at the time. It was around 2.00am and I must confess I was struggling to keep my eyes open.

“Suddenly, I felt something touching and squeezing my thigh. To my horror, I then felt my flies being undone and a hand began rubbing my penis. I just froze at the time. Initially, I thought it was a male colleague sitting beside me trying to keep me from dozing off.

“Then, to my utter shock, I realised it was a hand on a spring being operated by Diane Abbott from her seat on the other side of the debating chamber.

“She was leering and winking and making kissy faces. Her left hand was hidden from view and I’m certain she was masturbating.

“At this point, I got up and left the chamber. I went to the toilet and was physically sick. I felt so dirty and ashamed, even though I now realise that it wasn’t my fault.

“I’ve never mentioned the incident to anyone, not even my wife, but I now feel duty-bound to come forward and give my support to all those who are bravely telling their own stories of abuse and harassment in the corridors of power.”

Miss Abbott laughed off the claim last night: “It’s possible that I might have groped this parliamentary colleague with a hand on a spring, but so what? It was just light-hearted high jinx and a bit of fun at the end of the day.

“I remember, back in the late 80s, Mrs Thatcher used a similar device to tit me up in the ladies loos, but I just laughed it off as a bit of girly fun and gave her a playful punch in the stomach.”

In light of this latest claim, it is understood that all MPs will now be searched at the door by The Sergeant-At-Arms and that any hands on a spring will be confiscated and will need to be claimed after the sitting has concluded.

 

 

 

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