THE European Union has called on all of its members to start being more depressed and downbeat to keep up with the British, it has been reported.
A spokesperson for the European Citizens Health Institute told reporters this morning ahead of a new shake-up:
“The rest of Europe is seriously missing out on poor mental stability. Therefore, it is imperative we close the gap on British people and start looking at becoming more miserable and depressed.”
It is understood measures are now in place for all Europeans to drink cheaper toxic alcohol, watch more daytime TV shows and rely more on government hand-outs to get by in life.