US President, Donald Trump, last night ordered the launch of up to 60 Tomahawk Cruise Missiles on popular entertainer, Barry Manilow, after allegedly being taken aback by the singer’s revelation that he was gay.
A spokesman for The Pentagon said last night: The United States have launched a targeted missile strike on Barry Manilow.
“Early reports indicate that the mission has been entirely successful but further updates will follow after we have studied the necessary data”
Trump himself was in combative mood last night as he told a press conference: “When I learned that Manilow was gay, I could barely contain my anger.
“He has deceived the American people and has disappointed me. My opinion of him has changed significantly. I was a bigly fan of his at one time, but no more, my friends”
Reports are coming in from Manilow’s home in Beverley Hills that his mansion has been destroyed but that the Copa Cabana star wasn’t in it at the time.
However, reports have emerged that his Filipino pool boy, Carlos, took a direct hit and is not expected to pull through at this time.