Corbyn’s Wife Hospitalised Following Shame-Related Collapse

The wife of beleaguered Labour Party leader, Jeremy Corbyn, was admitted to a private clinic in North London last night after collapsing at their home, in what a close friend has described as a state of acute shame, brought about by Corbyn’s recent laughable flirtations with the truth.

The female friend, and a close neighbour of the Corbyns in upmarket Islington, told us that Corbyn’s third wife, Laura Alvarez, who is 20 years younger than the 67-year-old opposition leader, rang her earlier in the evening sounding extremely distressed.

“She was sobbing down the phone,” she said. “She told me she was sick of his constant lying and was thinking of going back to Mexico. I went round to see her and found her lying on the floor. Jeremy wasn’t in the room but I eventually found him in the kitchen, stirring a large saucepan of gruel.

“I told him Laura was sick, but he dismissed it as nothing serious and said she was just tired after having to sit on the floor during a long journey one of Sir Richard Branson’s trains. He looked wild-eyed and kept threatening to kill Bernie Sanders. I then locked myself in the room with Laura and called a private ambulance.”

Corbyn, who has come under fire this week after being caught out telling a series of blatant  lies, spoke briefly to reporters outside his £800k property late last night: “My wife has been taken to a grimy, inner-city, National Health hospital in a particularly run-down area of London where the hardworking NHS staff will give her the best of care despite being on what is tantamount to slave wages”

When questioned as to whether his wife was, in fact, in a private establishment, Corbyn became testy and snapped, “What, on my £138k annual salary plus expenses? Don’t be ridiculous”

A spokesperson for the hospital told us last night that Mrs Corbyn wasn’t exactly filthy rich but that she was extremely comfortable thank you very much.

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