A 62-year-old woman who was described by an ex-employer as, “an overbearing, shouty, cunt of a woman”, yesterday began hurling judgemental and unsubstantiated abuse at a Facebook poster she had no prior knowledge of and who was not on her Facebook Friends list. Despite the fact that she was roundly rebuffed and mocked by a […]
A secondary school in the East London district of Whitechapel will be teaching youngsters rudimentary knife fighting skills as part of its curriculum when the new Autumn term begins in September. The headteacher claims that a basic knowledge of handling a blade in a confrontation is a vital life skill that will serve pupils well […]
A fully automatic, self-driving saloon car for heavy drinkers will be available in September this year. The Toyota Caner has a number of features specifically designed with the habitual pisshead in mind. The erratic steering geometry will give it the ability to veer alarmingly from one side of the road to the other, while it’s […]
BRITAIN descended into chaos yesterday as millions of Brits flocked to social media to celebrate Emoji Day, by taking in part in organized rammies across the country, it has been reported. A rise in blockings, trolling, stalking and verbal assaults due to differences of opinions brought the internet to a standstill as internet users battled […]
In the wake of the Grenfell Tower fire tragedy, there were fresh concerns last night as a survey conducted by a hospital patient’s support group revealed that 99 percent of the patients in Britain’s hospitals are highly inflammable and a major fire risk in the event of a blaze in the buildings where they are […]
Dafty News has learned that a 32-year-old Glasgow housewife made elaborate plans for an episode of self-abuse shortly before the start of a film starring the actor, Tom Hardy. Tracy Dell, a married mother of 6, laid out a number of sex toys on the coffee table in front of the screen, along with an […]
IN THE WAKE of the BBC naming the very first female Doctor Who, bookmakers have slashed the odds on a woman becoming the next Superman, it has been revealed. A spokesperson for one of the leading bookies told our reporters: “Since Jodie Whittaker became the 13th Doctor, we have a strong suspicion more women are […]
A SHOPPING precinct was cordoned off yesterday after the really annoying and irritable celebrity Peter Andre was spotted busking to raise money for some charity, it has been reported. The (singer) was reportedly singing his one and only famous song Mysterious Girl over and over again in the hope passers by would throw money into […]
The creator of the blockbuster, swords and sorcery TV series, Game of Thrones, has reacted to the revelation that the next Dr Who is to be a woman by announcing that he’d definitely have the actress playing the part topless in most episodes and would even feature a few saucy romps from time to time. […]
DOCTOR WHO fans were mixed today after the announcement that the next Time Lord is to be a woman, with many having concerns that the famous Tardis will likely have its windows cleaned before a set of IKEA curtains will be draped. A Doctor Who fan club spokesperson told Dafty News: “With a female Doctor […]
