We, at Fuckblast Abbey in Wapping, are offering our loyal Scottish customers the chance to experience all the thrills of a journey into space via our exciting competition which carries a first prize of a crate of 24 bottles of ‘Fucky’ plus a litre of methylated spirits to add as a mixer. All you have […]
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ENJOY the grinding strikes and long delays this festive season with the brand new battery operated stunning classic train set from rail firm Southern Rail. The best Christmas present ever for disgruntled commuters. The Southern Rail Christmas Special Train Set includes: – 4 Metre Track – No Trains – Miniature Buildings and Trees – Miniature […]
Ladies, do you have to suffer and put up with the dreaded Man Flu every winter? Then we highly recommended you make an appointment to have your arsehole fully protected before the winter sets in. No more having to run after that arsehole in your life thanks to the Man Flu jab.
The Whitechapel Mint Proudly Presents: The Bash-Ur-Mate. The Partner-Thumping Device That Everybody’s Talking About
We at The Whitechapel Mint are delighted to bring you this, our latest innovation in contemporary domestic violence aids for today’s warring couple. The Bash-Ur-Mate is an ingenious update on our previous top-selling, Thump-O-Matic device, which was purchased by thousands of satisfied men and women throughout the country to give their errant or irritating partners […]
Have you suffered a recent false claim or a fabricated misled fact on Facebook? Did you have to endure a meme claiming a cure or a statement that was really all just made up? Even if you have been unsure about a certain factual claim relating to a conspiracy theory or a cure, you might […]
Hey ladies! Have you recently hurt yourself by banging your crotch against a pole during a pole dancing class? Then worry not. Minjuries 4U will help you get compensation for your minge injury. No matter the time of the month, we operate on a no strings attached policy Inspired by Maggie Rostron
NEW laws state you can now beat the fuck out of an intruder who breaks into your home. Protect your family now! Get access to our stunning range of knuckledusters, heavy blunt instruments and so much more. Baseball bats all customized to suit your tastes. Guaranteed to inflict maximum damage.
People NEVER, EVER ask me, “Graeme, on those long bus journeys in the morning how do you stop being bored?” and I tell them, “Birdwatching.” I saw a Robin this morning, such an interesting and gracious/poised creature. It rocks in the treetops all day long etc, foraging, constantly on the look out for food. It […]
THE DORKING CHURCH HALL EASTER CALENDAR OF EVENTS by Arsebishop Danny Soz and The Right F*****g Reverend Gary Hoadley Dear Parishioners, The hall has seen many faces come and go during the past year, thank the Lord we managed to persuade The Kim Jong Un Appreciation Society to give up their vigil. The violence was […]
Are you tired of all the root canal promises your dentist tries to floss you off with? Would you like a no nonsense, quick teeth extraction turnaround with no added extra costs? Then visit the Angry Dentist. He’ll have your gnashers rearranged in seconds. Using state-of-the-art tools used by the top violent anarchists and serial […]