The Casebook of PC Ted Stupor: The Drink-Ravaged London Bobby You Can Trust

The casebook of PC Ted Stupor: The drink-ravaged London bobby you can trust
by Danny SoZ

Evenin’ all

Policing a sprawling, multi-cultural city like London can be a taxing and often perilous job at times, particularly when enforcing the law in areas with a dense ethnic population.

Take yesterday’s Chinese New Year celebrations in London’s famous Chinatown district in and around Soho and Leicester Square for example.

At around 9.00pm last evening, my team were called out to a violent disturbance in Gerrard Street where 2 rival groups of Chinese were attacking each other with cleavers and axes in the street.

We raced to the scene, and realising time was of the essence and that people’s very lives were at stake, I waited for the other lads to rush into the fray before slipping into a local off-licence where I bought a 3-litre bottle of Blackout premium strength cider and a 6-pack of Tennant’s Super.

By the time the lads got back to the van with a few bloodied prisoners I was lying in the gutter with sick over my tunic and a stream of piss running out of my trouser leg.

Evenin’ all.

PC Ted is The Branch Secretary of The Grog-Fuelled Cirrhosis Appreciation Society



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