Britain Still Undecided on Which Arsehole Should Run The Country

Britain Still Undecided on Which Arsehole Should Run The Country
by Stephen Hamilton

BRITONS woke up this morning to a hung parliament and without a leader after the whole country couldn’t decide what fuckwit should run the country.

Millions of voters packed their local polling stations but still had difficulty in marking a small box with a cross using a dark-coloured pen on their preferred choice. Organizers at some polling stations say most of the voters in the country are not yet able to walk upright and required assistance in helping them locate where the tick boxes were on the sheets.

Meanwhile, Facebook’s rise in political experts and geniuses rose a staggering 40 million percent as every fucker with an account took to their statuses to offer their wide range of political knowledge despite a whopping %100 having to Google ‘hung parliament’.

A Hung Parliament spokesperson told Dafty News: “Basically what it means is we give the public the illusion it was a close call. We pretend their vote actually counts when in fact it doesn’t. We might even go for a coalition to confuse the public even more (*sniggers in devilish delight*).

“We shift Theresa May to another department, probably Home Secretary, then we draft in big Boris Johnson through the back door. That way the public will not know any the wiser.”

 

 

 

Making money for your football club!

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