Prime Minister Theresa May will chair an emergency meeting of COBRA later today as the nation reels from the news that a gang of radicalised Muslims last night hurled themselves at a white man’s van outside Finsbury Park mosque in North London.
Initial reports claim that the van was being driven by a 48-year-old Christian man who was probably on his way to visit his aged grandmother after spending the evening in prayer at his local church.
According to a Daily Mail reporter, who was drinking heavily in a nearby pub and who raced to the scene a couple of hours later, the attackers had crazed looks in their eyes and were yelling, “Allahu akbar” as they hurled themselves bodily at the front bumper of the van, causing at least £100 worth of damage.
An ashen-faced Mrs May gave a brief press conference outside No 10 Downing Street at 2.30 am, telling reporters: “This was an unprovoked terror attack on an innocent, white British male by heathen barbarians.
“Rest assured that the guilty will be brought to book and punished using the full force of the law, and if that means interning a large number of non-Christian people without trial then so be it.”
In other related news, former UKIP leader, Nigel Farage, has launched an appeal to raise money for the van driver so that he can get his van repaired without losing his vehicle insurance no-claims bonus.