Bomb squad rush to hoarder’s house – in a bid to tidy it up a bit

Bomb squad rush to hoarder's house – in a bid to tidy it up a bit
by Kat Ziegel

BOMB SQUAD units were deployed to a semi-detached house in Liverpool yesterday after it emerged a four-apartment was in need of a right good going over, after the occupant’s hoarding behaviour alerted worrying authorities, according to reports.

Neighbours say the woman’s house was a death trap after years of collecting stuff and years of fending off any help to tidy the place up a bit.

One neighbour who wished not to be named told our reporters: “The house is chaos. You can’t get in for the mess and you can’t get out of it because of the mess. It was really needing a few sticks of dynamite to make the tip look a bit more respectable.”

A spokesperson for the Bomb Squad told our reporters outside the rancid property: “The woman’s family and friends have tried everything but nothing has worked – not even therapy. The only way the house will ever be back to a more organized state is if we bomb the fuck out of it.”

Meanwhile, the government has issued a warning to hoarders in a bid to crack what many psychologists say is ‘the most baffling of all disorders’.

From April 2018 all hoarders will be required to own an extra cat and add at least three different smells to their property or have their Personality Disorder Benefits cut.

 

 

 

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