A government think tank report out yesterday reveals that a man who has been kicked hard in the testicles experiences significantly more pain than a woman giving birth to an average size baby.
Dr Tobias Dell, PhD, who headed the study, told newsmen: “Over the course of 6 months, a number of men were given a really meaty kick in the testicles while their pain level was being monitored on a special machine designed specifically for the task.
“We then asked them if the pain and distress they experienced was worse than childbirth, and without exception, they all agreed that it was indeed far worse.
“We didn’t ask any women for their comments because, as we all know, they are notoriously prone to exaggeration and for laying it on with a trowel to gain sympathy”
These findings come just weeks after a study by Cambridge University concluded that the toilet seat should always be left up after use, and that talking or hoovering during televised soccer matches is right up there with infanticide and terrorism.
If you’re a woman and you wish to raise any issues connected to this piece, our advice is to get to work on reducing that pile of ironing and to concentrate a bit more on knowing your ruddy place – Ed.