There was fresh turmoil for Australian cricket last night when the skipper of Perth Cricket Club was fined 75% of his match fee for altering the condition of the ball by crying on it in the outfield before tossing it back to the bowler.
Toby ‘Digger’ O’Dell, 25 admitted tampering with the ball and will now miss the next 2 matches as his club chase a 3rd successive Sheffield Shield triumph.
O’Dell attended a hastily-called press conference last night during which he constantly broke down as he tried to explain his actions
“I couldn’t help it. I kept thinking about sad things, like Bambi slipping over on that icy pond and the bit at the end of Wuthering Heights when Cathy dies in Heathcliff’s arms.
“I didn’t mean to cry on the ball to help our two quicks with reverse swing. I tried to dry the ball with my lace hanky but then I started crying again when it got all dirty.
“I know I should be a bit more manly, but I just can’t help it. I wish my mum was here”
At this point, O’Dell slumped forward, weeping uncontrollably and had to be led from the room by his father who was also blubbing like a great big girly.